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Is there a bar around here? My wife says I'm a violent drunk, but I'll deal with her later.
I wouldn't use your bathroom for a couple of hours.
Did you have beans for dinner? Cos I gotta tell ya, you don't smell too good.
gee, I hate to bother you, but I think I accidentally kicked your dog to death…
How would you like to trade cars? Mine's really rare.
I ate most of your cereal. I'll buy you some more, honest.
I found a box of cigars - I'm afraid I'll need to keep them for evidence.
Do you have any idea how to get the stains off this coat?
I hate to bother you, but can you tell me your cup size? It's for my boss, he's a stickler for detail
I'd keep my eye out - but I'd forget where I put it.
Sir, would you pull my finger?
Are you gonna throw that sandwich in the trash?
Can you smell gas? No, me neither.
Is that your real hair? Can I touch it?
can I bother you for a match? I have to burn some stuff.
Was that your milk outside? I took some.
Did you murder that guy? Sorry, it's just I gotta check these things.
What was your name again? I forgot.
it's just I got this nephew - he's about your age, and I think you'd really get along. Can I give you his address?
Can I ask sir, how you get your shoes that shiny? I tell ya, I tried everything.
I hate to bother you, but how much did those shoes cost? Well that's swell… and that was for both of them?
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Do ye have any spare change?
Just one more thing…
Add another Columboism
Can I use your bathroom? I gotta shit real bad. I get this… thing. It's the chilli.
I used up all of your toilet roll. Including the ones you had in that cupboard.
Were you gonna drink this whisky?
My wife's a huge fan. It gets windy at home.
